Sometimes you just find yourself at loss for words.
That’s where we are at these days. I feel completely at loss for what to say and write. Oh, my heart is overflowing beyond measure, and there is a sense of normal to our lives again. And it feels so good. God has been so good. And I’m humbled by His healing hand. He has done marvelous things! I want you to know, He is faithful. Ever faithful. He gives grace. Amazing grace. And He will carry you. Through whatever you are facing!
I find myself hanging on tightly to this hard time. This hard season. While I’m overjoyed at the thought of remission and no more chemo and all that. I don’t want to lose the things I’ve learned, the way it’s stretched my faith and softened my heart. I don’t want to forget that life is precious. Fragile. To be treasured. That each breath is a gift He chooses to give. We are not promised the next hour. Or even minute. I want to wake up each morning clinging desperately to Jesus. Recognizing my dependence and need of Him. And using every day He gives to further His Kingdom. In my humanness I fear slipping back into that pattern of normal living, for myself. For things that don’t matter. Losing the eternal perspective and striving for earthly things. I want to give more hugs and say more with less words. Kind words. Speaking life to those around me. Loving people just as they are. But most of all letting Jesus shine through my life. Sharing what I have been given. Realizing in true reality, that God is the point of life. Nothing more. Nothing less. Life is about Him. And I am called to live out the life He has given me, in a way that brings Him all the praise. Through the hurts. The joys. The disappointments. The cancer. The loss. The heartache. He is good beyond measure, in the flowering spring, the warmth and sunshine of the summer, and on through the colors of fall and the bare beauty of winter. He is faithful. He is good. He is enough. Through every season life brings. The very season you find yourself in. He gives you grace for the day. Your day. Your situation. Your season. Run to Him and you will find His grace, poured out & overflowing.
We found ourselves at Mayo the beginning of March, the place felt so familiar even after being gone 6 weeks but it still feels strange to walk into a place like that and know your way around, recognize faces and know the routine. I wish I had more words to describe all the feelings of the day. I felt almost giddy and scared. Heaviness and dread. And yet I wanted nothing more than to just know what the doctors were finding. So many feelings and unknowns. And yet, there was that peace that He gives. And when you hear the word “remission”, you feel it all. Suddenly there is air in your lungs again and a spring in your step. You feel like life has been given back. Like that first day of spring. And I think to myself, that’s what Jesus does to my heart. Spiritual healing. Redemption. Restoration. He pours that out on the mess of life I bring to this world. The brokenness, the hurt, the sinfulness. Pure sinfulness, defiled humanness. He takes that and touches my heart with His healing hand and brings hope to each day. What a truly marvelous thing! Beyond the wonder of physical healing, is the wonder of a God who stoops down and restores the wretchedness of my heart. Just think about that wonder. It will leave you speechless.
The doctor told us they no longer see any cancer activity, and the cancer is in complete remission, although they can’t declare Wes cured until he has been in remission for 5 years. Lymphoma is a cancer that if it comes back it usually comes back soon, within the first 2 to 3 years. The doctor told us that the chances of being cured are high and he was very happy with the way Wes has responded to it all. God, His very hand, brings healing. He has done great things through the medical team at Mayo, and we are so thankful, but its Him alone that directs the healing. And we praise His name! We are scheduled back at Mayo quite often over the next few years, but it feels so good to know they are following up and caring for us. While fear of the future and all the what-ifs take over my heart some days, I know my God is faithful. Abundantly faithful. And He has only promised me grace for a day at a time.
You have stood with us, cried with us, rejoiced with us, loved us and prayed hard for us. You have been the very hands and feet of Jesus. Thank you. We pray that you will be blessed for your many kindnesses and your prayers. Life is about glorifying God through relationships and you showed us this over and over again. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Somehow those two words just seem so small. But we will always be grateful for you and the way you cared. We pray that He blesses you richly for touching our lives.
O LORD, thou art my God; I will exalt thee, I will praise thy name;
for thou hast done wonderful things. . . Isaiah 25:1
-wes & kendra
olivia. ella. cassidy & hudson